the fight

problem: which is worse, having no hope or having hope but getting it snatched out of your hands?

I've had both happen to me time and time again but I cannot decide which is worse. do I hope too much? do I expect too much?

is it even a me problem?

I don't know. I just keep having plans and ideas and they keep being crushed, over and over. am I trusting in the wrong thing? am I believing in the wrong things? Do I overthink things?

would it be better to be lifeless and hopeless or to be excited and be devastated?