New Blog

New Blog:
zachzook.wordpress.com

Of failures, victories, self respect and honesty

Hello, my blog readers. the 5 of you that I have.

Hello on this dark and rainy night.

Outside looks like how I feel.

Isn't that a great way to begin?

Well, my life is nuts. All my friends are leaving me to go off to college. I am staying home and commuting to ACC. Depressing.

I go to orientation tomorrow. I'm nervous.

I'm going through all the post breakup emotions and hell from my first girlfriend. Yup. Only one. 7 months. and a week. exactly. But who was counting?

Anyway, I'm creepy. but It's hard. all of it. and it's even harder when you're not relying on God.

Yup. That sucks. Dealing with God. Coming back to God. Humbling myself before God. Wow.

So, here I am. I've sent a letter to my ex girlfriend. I was honest. I was true. I was blunt.

and it sucks. all of it. the mistakes that I made. the way it all had to go down. the hard choices that I've had to make. and she's a great girl. she's gorgeous. and how I messed up everything. Wow. So, here I sit. in awe of the mess that I've made. the mess that has my humanity. the mess that my humanity has made. Oh, God, I need you now. Why do I fall away? why do I fail?

I saw Scott Pilgrim tonight. It sucks. I'll tell you that right now. but I loved it. I'll watch it again and again. but that's because I'm a nerd. and I love being a nerd. and I loved the movie. it was really good and made me feel pretty good. but now it's all crashing down. I need my father. I need him.

melodies and lyrics

I have lyrics but I have no song. It's like... the lyrics came so easy. but the melody is eluding me like a gazelle hiding in a volcano.

does that analogy actually make sense? the answer is no. however, some of you laughed. However, the real problem is that I have lyrics but I can't get myself a melody. and I love these lyrics. it's like I'm trying too hard. so, if you can help me in any way, please do contact me. Comment, if you will....

I met you outside at the park.

You asked me to meet you because you needed closure.

Reluctantly, I walked up close,

Rain pouring hard as my heart skipped into disaster.

My mind was screaming profanities,

As the silence was taken away by the thunder.

Your eyes are screaming for peace,

For an answer to all your questions.

I'm sorry that this is the best that I can do at the moment.

Tears running down my cheeks as my wounds are being reopened.

I'm soaking wet from the rain. Or at least that's what I'd tell you.

I keep wondering why I came. Did I come for you?

Look, I didn't ask for you to leave.

And I didn't ask for me to realize all these things.

If I could change all the facts,

You know me well enough to know that I'd never look back.

So, as we stand between the strikes,

Of lightening lighting up the sky,

I stand with helpless hands,

Screaming back against nature's noises.